We have The One

Every single parent comes  from a different circumstances. Something that doesn’t have to be brought out all the time but I guess in our culture, it does.
You will always be asked a lot of questions like – where is he now? Is he married? Was he married when you two met each other? Is he seeing your child? Is he supporting your child?

My daughter was born out of wed lock. She is now two years old. At that time when I had her I was working as a ministry staff, so I knew people would question my integrity.
Yes I made a big mistake but I had repented and I came back to Jesus. Coming back to Jesus meant giving up a relationship that isn’t in line with his will. So I chose Jesus not because I was a minister but because I wanted to choose my relationship with Jesus. That  also means becoming a single mother. Yes, some of you would question what I did but it was still the best decision I ever made.

Raising hannah being single I knew is hard. Providing her every need was also an everyday struggle. I came to admire mothers who have to raise two or more children on their own.
There’s also this wondering on how my daughter be able to cope up with all these questions thrown upon her when she’s grown up. What future lies ahead of and a lot more.

 All these being said, one thing is for sure. Choosing to trust Jesus. Choosing to believe on his promises.
Yes, we are single mothers but we are married to the One. We are married to the King. And though sometimes we feel like we are carrying the world alone, we are not, our husband, the King who created everything is beside us trying to ask us to entrust what we are carrying to His palms.

He can carry the world for us.

Psalm 48:1-7
God is our refuge and strength,
An ever – present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Thought the earth give way
And the mountains fall into
The heart of the sea
Though its waters roar and foam
And the mountains quake
With their surging
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will no fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar,
Kingdoms fall;
He lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
The God of Jacob is our fortress.

Feeding 2013

Feeding updates!!!!

Pew.,. What's new with the feeding this 2013?

We started the feeding last July in celebration of the Nutrition month.

We started with 160 children at four schools, two of these schools we just started this year. And because God is a generous Papa there's more extra food always so we are adding to maybe up to 40 more children. Yay Jesus!,!!

So here's what we do: 

At the two schools which are far from our center, the food is being cooked there by our volunteers with the supervision of the feeding teacher. We give them budget for two weeks and when we give the next budget they will have to give us receipts of the spendings.

With the other schools the food is cooked at our center and be brought at the schools by our volunteers everyday.

What's new and exciting this year?

1. We have about 22 volunteers it's huge comparing to 8 or so last year plus some more people who didn't commit theirselves but they go and help on some days.

2. We are now having a monthly meeting with them. 

Last week i had meeting and lunch time with them. 

There are so many testimonies. Some of them Never experienced feeding children who are malnourished. 

One lady shared how she felt joyful seeing one kid just smiling after eating. Another shared how she felt when the children gets excited upon seeing them coming in from the school gate.. Amazing!

The monthly meeting with them is to help them grow more in Jesus. Feed them Spiritually so they can give more. 

The meeting would be just like that of a house church meeting or we go out and eat or we go at the park and have fun. Different every time but would be very encouraging to them and them being filled with Jesus.

I am dreaming that God would use these bunch of ladies to move and transform the whole city of Baguio. God is investing and making these people be anchored in him, be firm in him, and be in love more and more in him. And then he's gonna send them put! 

I cry every time i think about what God has for these people. 

Some of them are house wives, and they are just at home taking care of their children. Some of them haven't even finish any degree. Some of them barely has enough food in their house. But they gave their lives to Jesus, offering what they only have, theirselves. 

I remember they boy who gave the fish and loaves of bread to Jesus. He might be hungry by that time but he chose to offer it to Jesus. And Jesus was able to use these few fishes and bread to feed thousands of people.. I'm imagining the boy might have been so overwhelmed and fell more in love with Jesus.

Awesome! 

We started this House Church in another area last December and there's so much stories of what God's been doing in their lives.

-- One couple shared how God provides for them, and how He comes and rescues them at the right time, at the right situation..

-- One wife had been praying to see her sister and after 16 years, they got in touched with each other and finally reunited last month.... Seeing each other wasn't the end of the story... Since then they have been in contact with each other. The sister lives two hours drive away. The sister texted her and told her that she and her husband agreed that they will support one of her children to go to school!!! 

Wonderful, not just restoration but sharing love, and care...

-- We visited a man who can't come at our house church because of frequent epilepsy attacks. We thought we go and encourage him but it turned out we were the ones being encouraged by him... His faith.. 

And how he chose to believe that though it's a mystery why God isn't healing him, his affliction doesn't come from God,..

-- Last week i told them we will go and visit people. Everyone started to talk about the time, which house first, etc's.  In my mind, i said no one will come.,. 

The day of the visiting, i was amazed because they were waiting for me, almost all of them waited and even texted me while i was on my way!.

Such an open hearted people,..

-- when God said to go, He won't let us go unprepared. We don't have to struggle on what to bring, because we are being equipped before we go,.

-- In a little while i knew some of these ladies and even our gentlemen will become leaders..

Reflection

While I’m writing this I’m listening to a worship song that goes “Author of the world walk with me'.

What I big big word for us. Isn't it overwhelming to know that the most holy is indeed walking with us.. Isn't it overwhelming enough that even the the most impossible things in our lives will look so tiny..

Year 2012 has been a year of growing more in him for me.,. There has been ups and downs but knowing His love, and knowing that He is in us makes us secure on who we are,. Knowing His plans in our lives will never change.. makes us secure..

"Jeremiah 29:11

For I know what I have planned for you, 'says the Lord. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope." (NET)

Five years ago, God had implanted a dream in my heart. I was barely a Christian by then. I was just water baptized December of 2008. At the same year He started to make it happen, I became a church intern midyear of 2009. In those two years of internship so much had happen. I had come to know Him more. On the other hand, the pressures of ministry started to crawl inside of me which I had to hide from everyone. It came to a point where I entertained doubts in my mind, started to ask Him if He really had called me to do full time ministry.
End of year 2011 when I came out of ministry and do something else.

I was so broken inside, I worked and made myself occupied but bedtimes were always so painful. There were lots of tears. There were lots of blaming and questions.

But God in His word again reminded me that no one can and will ever hold me in this time of brokenness and depression but him.

It was a decision to let him come into my time of trouble. It was a decision to let him deal into this weakened Spirit.

He indeed came, and where his presence is there is healing, the broken becomes whole, every ruin becomes new.

He renews every dream that was shattered because it's him, it's what he does it's his nature. That's what he did when he gave Jesus to die on the cross. That is to restore the relationship he has with us.

After almost a year, I made a decision to stand up and fight for this dream. Willing to plunge into the adventure God has for me.

I'm so excited for this year. I've been back to full time ministry almost four months now.  

And while I was spending time with him he showed me another promise for this year:

Genesis 15:5

The Lord took him outside and said, “gaze into the sky and count the stars – if you are able to count them!” Then he said to him, “So will your descendants be.”

This was a promise to Abram. It was impossible but God made it possible. God fulfilled his promise.

And so is to us. This promise is for us of this generation. God's gonna make all things possible for this dream that he himself had put in our hearts to happen.

He is a father who doesn't want his children to just daydream but dream big things knowing it will come true..

After Love Tribe :)

  

Coffee Break after  going out and loving people :) :)

 

   After Street Church :) 

               

All i need is you Jesus.,.

“Of course I know him!” answered ate Tess.

 I was just on my second week of my job as a boarding teacher and I am sharing a room with ate Tess, a helper. One night I asked her if she knows Jesus and she said “of course I know him! How could I not know Him, I always go to church every Sunday.” Upon hearing this, I felt a little bit disappointed. “How can I explain to this woman that it is not just about knowing Jesus?.” “How will I show her that it's not just about going to church every Sunday?.”

After she said those words, I diverted the topic and asked her a bout her life. I then saw a spark on her face. She started telling stories about her life. After a while, I asked her if she ever felt the tangible presence of the Lord in her life.

“I know that He is always there and will never leave me but I never felt his presence.”

“It's true God is always here and is always looking after us and it is also true that He wants us to feel the closeness His presence.” I answered back and looked at her face and I can see the unbelief on her face. The reaction on her face is enough to tell me that she thinks I am crazy. I fought my fear and pressed on asking if someone ever prayed for her.

“The only time I was prayed for by someone is when I was still a child.”

upon hearing this I asked her if I could pray for her then and she said yes. I then laid my hand on her shoulder and started asking for the Holy Spirit to come. I began asking God to fill her with His presence and that she will have an encounter with a loving Father. An encounter that will change her life. An encounter that will heal all the brokenness in her. An encounter that will change her relationship to God.

 After praying I asked her how she feels.

“I never had this encounter before, I felt that something had come into me but I can't explain what it is.”

That night I slept so happy and full of excitement! What a privilege to see this woman smile genuinely for the first time.!.

After that night, everyday if given the chance I would always asked her about her life and how she is. Then finally I got the chance one night to asked her if she ever accepted Jesus to come into her life.

“Since childhood I always go to church every Sunday but I never asked Him to come into my life.”

I then led her to a simple prayer and that night she gave her life to Jesus. After that encounter, I'm seeing joy coming into the life of this woman. I decided to write something about her:

She is the fourth child of 7 children. At the age 14 years old she went to Olongapo City from Pillar, Sorsogon to find a job. At a young age and with no relatives with her. Full of uncertainties, doubt, and fear she had to be brave and try to overcome homesickness. She had been supporting her family. 

The pressure of responsibilities to her family went higher when her mother died at the age of 21. After 27 years of baby sitting. She visited her sister in Baguio City. And decided to look for a job here thinking she is with her relatives. With her small salary she supported the education of her niece who just graduated this year. And at the same time still supporting her sister who has hypertension and diabetes.

Her never ending love for her family make her decide not to marry anymore. She is 51 years old now.

“I always asked God to give me more strength, and I also knew that if it's time for me to go I can't do anything because it's His will.”

This is always her response every time I asked what is she thinking, and what is she always asking God for.

This is a story of a simple woman. She might not be noticed by the society. A woman who had not done any remarkable thing to make famous. A woman sometimes being scorned for inadequacy. An outcast.

But She is the apple of God's eyes. A treasure. A Royalty. She is loved.

What a privilege to watch how this beautiful woman of God turning into who she really is.

Love Encounter with My Papa God

Right now I am sitting beside my mama’s hospital bed. It’s already 1:11 in the morning. She’s been here seven nights and eight days today. It has been a long and exhausting days. Looking at her right now, I can see how her health has improved comparing to the first few days. For those long days and nights I wasn’t able to talk to her doctors because their schedule of visiting isn’t predictable..

Everyday and every night visitors come and go, relatives from my mama and daddy’s side.  And though hospitals aren’t so comfortable to mingle with people, this place has served as a lounge for me, my family and relatives who visited. It had been a great opportunity to catch up with most of them. Amazing how a sick person be a way for us to get closer to each other..

Looking back to the day when she was first paralyzed, I was really scared since that day.. There was never a time that when I remember my mom’s health condition that I feel this fear of losing her and how will I be able to stand after that,..  And now, I am just really amazed at how God has been preparing my heart, my mind, my emotions, my Faith, my trust, everything that if I will list them it will take ages to get to the end of the list.. 

My mama was very strong, and is a fighter and I didn’t realize that. I was busy of self-pitying. Busy thinking of how will I be able to live without her. Will I go back to depression if she gets stroke again? What will happen to my future? What will happen to my family?  How will I get over this when I’m not yet over with depression? I’m not yet over with many mistakes I made in the ministry I am with?  I was buried with fear and so many unanswered questions.

And here comes the moment I have feared. Sunday night, when someone called telling me they rushed my mama to the hospital. (She was brought a week before that because of a fall). I went and for long hours we have been waiting in the emergency room until the doctor said we can bring her home. Afternoon of the next day, my father and my sister brought her to the doctor for a check – up (different hospital) and they immediately refer her for admission apparently of second stroke!.  She was in the ICU already when I went there. She stayed there for one night and one day then they transferred her to the ward.

I was expecting what my reactions would be when this moment come. I was expecting myself to be crying all the time just by seeing my mama suffering. Get angry to others. Blame people. Bury myself to depression.

But the shocking thing is what I felt that moment was the very opposite of all these things. I felt this calmness. My heart is filled with peace. It is very serene. I never felt like this in my entire life. My heart was filled with this thing that I felt so strong in my trust and faith in God alone.

I am a church intern for almost two years now. And for those years I have been trying to work and strive hard thinking I could earn God’s love.. But it’s not His love that I have been seeking for all those time. I have been working hard to earn title for myself, to get myself a position..

In these times of challenges, times when I thought I couldn’t be able to stand up anymore. Times when I thought I couldn’t climb up all the piles of mistakes and trials on me, he made me realized that His love is so deep and could never be earned. He just love me without conditions..

He made me realize that He is with me all the time. That He was trying to run so He could catch up with me.  

This time, where I had my most fearful moment, He made me stop and just love Him back. Just feel His love. He made me go back to the first time I fell in love with Him.

This encounter with my Father God was very powerful that made me just to trust my mama unto His palm.

To believe in the impossible and that no matter what happens to my mama, I knew God is greater. He is holding me and my mama with such loving arms. I believe in His promises.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Romans 8:37-39

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My mama loves Jesus.. Now it’s 2:33 in the morning. And my mama is peacefully asleep..