Love Encounter with My Papa God

Right now I am sitting beside my mama’s hospital bed. It’s already 1:11 in the morning. She’s been here seven nights and eight days today. It has been a long and exhausting days. Looking at her right now, I can see how her health has improved comparing to the first few days. For those long days and nights I wasn’t able to talk to her doctors because their schedule of visiting isn’t predictable..

Everyday and every night visitors come and go, relatives from my mama and daddy’s side.  And though hospitals aren’t so comfortable to mingle with people, this place has served as a lounge for me, my family and relatives who visited. It had been a great opportunity to catch up with most of them. Amazing how a sick person be a way for us to get closer to each other..

Looking back to the day when she was first paralyzed, I was really scared since that day.. There was never a time that when I remember my mom’s health condition that I feel this fear of losing her and how will I be able to stand after that,..  And now, I am just really amazed at how God has been preparing my heart, my mind, my emotions, my Faith, my trust, everything that if I will list them it will take ages to get to the end of the list.. 

My mama was very strong, and is a fighter and I didn’t realize that. I was busy of self-pitying. Busy thinking of how will I be able to live without her. Will I go back to depression if she gets stroke again? What will happen to my future? What will happen to my family?  How will I get over this when I’m not yet over with depression? I’m not yet over with many mistakes I made in the ministry I am with?  I was buried with fear and so many unanswered questions.

And here comes the moment I have feared. Sunday night, when someone called telling me they rushed my mama to the hospital. (She was brought a week before that because of a fall). I went and for long hours we have been waiting in the emergency room until the doctor said we can bring her home. Afternoon of the next day, my father and my sister brought her to the doctor for a check – up (different hospital) and they immediately refer her for admission apparently of second stroke!.  She was in the ICU already when I went there. She stayed there for one night and one day then they transferred her to the ward.

I was expecting what my reactions would be when this moment come. I was expecting myself to be crying all the time just by seeing my mama suffering. Get angry to others. Blame people. Bury myself to depression.

But the shocking thing is what I felt that moment was the very opposite of all these things. I felt this calmness. My heart is filled with peace. It is very serene. I never felt like this in my entire life. My heart was filled with this thing that I felt so strong in my trust and faith in God alone.

I am a church intern for almost two years now. And for those years I have been trying to work and strive hard thinking I could earn God’s love.. But it’s not His love that I have been seeking for all those time. I have been working hard to earn title for myself, to get myself a position..

In these times of challenges, times when I thought I couldn’t be able to stand up anymore. Times when I thought I couldn’t climb up all the piles of mistakes and trials on me, he made me realized that His love is so deep and could never be earned. He just love me without conditions..

He made me realize that He is with me all the time. That He was trying to run so He could catch up with me.  

This time, where I had my most fearful moment, He made me stop and just love Him back. Just feel His love. He made me go back to the first time I fell in love with Him.

This encounter with my Father God was very powerful that made me just to trust my mama unto His palm.

To believe in the impossible and that no matter what happens to my mama, I knew God is greater. He is holding me and my mama with such loving arms. I believe in His promises.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Romans 8:37-39

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My mama loves Jesus.. Now it’s 2:33 in the morning. And my mama is peacefully asleep..

Street Church Testimony

A lady from our street church shared this:
She was at home one day when she and her husband's friend named choy came and told her that he is having bruises on his whole body every time he took a bathe...
She then told him, "you pray and ask God to heal you"...


Then yesterday Choy sent her a message saying: "My bruises are gone now God healed me, thank you so much ate." 

House Church Leader

One of our House Church leaders fell down while going down the mountain after  house church... The right hand which was affected due to stroke months ago got damaged..
After many tests and hours of waiting, the doctor finally said she can go home.

Please pray for her fast recovery..

Behind the stage

The feeding woman!!...
This woman in this picture has been helping to serve the food at the feeding...
She didn't need big words to say.....
She just helps,... What a great woman,....  


More feeding scenes!!,...

A Father never gives illness to His child to punish....

Five months ago this woman suffered an ischemic stroke. Her right arm and Right leg affected... Though she got ill, she still leads house church every Sunday. She is still active on church activities... She never shows us any weakness.. But one thing i notice is that she's never the same again.. She's not as expressive as before anymore when it comes to her opinion...                         
I see pain in her eyes even though she never speak about it...


During Love Baguio (Bible Study every Tuesday), Ate Lony shared about God's goodness.. This woman was touched so deeply that she was able to share what was in her heart....


For such a long time people has been telling her she got her illness because she did something wrong, because she was a sinner....


Upon hearing ate Lony's message, this woman after carrying the thought that she was sick because of sin was able to release it, release what's in her heart...
The pain i keep seeing in her eyes for so long... has been released....

Joy restored, hope restored thank you Jesus.... 
Praying that she be healed emotionally and psychically..  

May we see the smile again in these pictures taken months before she got ill...
Restoration and healing in Jesus name... 

May we hear your wholehearted laugh.. And may we hear again how you talk about me and my life story mama,..                 I believe.. Jesus..

 

My Blog Tittle's real meaning

It has been raining for days now. And here at our Church center where i live and  which we call yellow building usually if there's typhoon people would come and ask for food..

Three ladies came for food and i didn't question them because i know them so well..                   

Then a while later two ladies came, one is a mother of one of our youth group member, the other i just recognize because she lives near the place where i came from but she is not a church member.. So i begun asking them, "do you really need food?" And of course they said yes.. So i gave them but in my mind was, "why do people who we don't even know come when they need something????"

After few hours, here comes an old lady whom i don't know but accompanying her are children i knew. So i asked them, "do you know her?'' They said, yes. I asked the old lady "where are you from?" She didn't answer obviously she doesn't want to tell me where she is from. So i just gave her food and thought, "She might be a friend of the children's mother."

With all the thoughts i had, one more thing came up..
Why am i here for?
What is your purpose?
Are you here to judge people's behavior?
Are you here to criticize them?

People from different places, different situations, different motives, different experiences come. They are broken inside and out. Some desperate, some not, some lie to cover their motives.
But they come because they are needing something, they are seeking answers they don't know only God can give..
And what am i doing thinking about all these negative things.

I'm here to guide them to where they could find the real answer and not to lead them away.. That's real meaning of my blog's tittle Keep Loving..
Don't focus on people's motives what drives them but think of it as an opportunity to lead them to Jesus,...

Loving the children

This School year we started a feeding in a new School. We started with twenty five children but after few weeks we went up to thirty five kids.,.. These children come from families who are not able to eat three times a day..

One kid shared that her mama collects recyclable materials from trash for a living and her father just sleeps at home most of the time.. But she said she knows Jesus and is thankful to Him because He loves her,.. :)

Some scenes at the feeding :) :)