Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Reflection


While I’m writing this I’m listening to a worship song that goes “Author of the world walk with me'.
What I big big word for us. Isn't it overwhelming to know that the most holy is indeed walking with us.. Isn't it overwhelming enough that even the the most impossible things in our lives will look so tiny..

Year 2012 has been a year of growing more in him for me.,. There has been ups and downs but knowing His love, and knowing that He is in us makes us secure on who we are,. Knowing His plans in our lives will never change.. makes us secure..


"Jeremiah 29:11
For I know what I have planned for you, 'says the Lord. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope." (NET)

Five years ago, God had implanted a dream in my heart. I was barely a Christian by then. I was just water baptized December of 2008. At the same year He started to make it happen, I became a church intern midyear of 2009. In those two years of internship so much had happen. I had come to know Him more. On the other hand, the pressures of ministry started to crawl inside of me which I had to hide from everyone. It came to a point where I entertained doubts in my mind, started to ask Him if He really had called me to do full time ministry.
End of year 2011 when I came out of ministry and do something else.
I was so broken inside, I worked and made myself occupied but bedtimes were always so painful. There were lots of tears. There were lots of blaming and questions.
But God in His word again reminded me that no one can and will ever hold me in this time of brokenness and depression but him.
It was a decision to let him come into my time of trouble. It was a decision to let him deal into this weakened Spirit.
He indeed came, and where his presence is there is healing, the broken becomes whole, every ruin becomes new.
He renews every dream that was shattered because it's him, it's what he does it's his nature. That's what he did when he gave Jesus to die on the cross. That is to restore the relationship he has with us.
After almost a year, I made a decision to stand up and fight for this dream. Willing to plunge into the adventure God has for me.
I'm so excited for this year. I've been back to full time ministry almost four months now.  
And while I was spending time with him he showed me another promise for this year:

Genesis 15:5
The Lord took him outside and said, “gaze into the sky and count the stars – if you are able to count them!” Then he said to him, “So will your descendants be.”

This was a promise to Abram. It was impossible but God made it possible. God fulfilled his promise.

And so is to us. This promise is for us of this generation. God's gonna make all things possible for this dream that he himself had put in our hearts to happen.

He is a father who doesn't want his children to just daydream but dream big things knowing it will come true..




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